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halfbakedpolymath:

friendlyneighbourhoodpapergay:

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you’re talking about.

You can’t accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can’t accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can’t accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette’s Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can’t accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can’t accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can’t accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn’t fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can’t accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.

I think for many of us it’s not “faking” as such, more a “making a fuss” “blowing out of proportion” “everyone gets this sometimes so I should just knuckle down”.

And for that, I say:

Who made you feel small?

Who made you feel like an inconvenience?

Who didn’t take you seriously?

Who shamed or belittled you?

Because whether it was doctors, collegues, local or broader culture, or folks in charge of your formative years

Whether it was specific to your illness or profession, or if it was generally being taught to be convenient, or even to take abuse and diminishment in order to prioritize only the feelings of your abuser

Someone taught you to be ashamed of being seen, taking up space and asking for things. They taught you to be small.

Some of them are even well meaning, but stuck in unhelpful ways, or simply lacking in insight or tact.

Screw them.

It’s not easy to unlearn that kind of programming, but knowing where it comes from is a strong start.

Now you know the likely cause, you can name this internal process for what it is. And you can start to ask yourself

Who made me feel small?